Are Your Friends Building You—or Breaking You?

At the Neighborhood Christian Center where I work, we run a summer youth leadership program for high school students. Instead of spending their summer flipping burgers or filing paperwork, these teens are offered something deeper. Throughout the program, they study the Bible, hear from inspiring guest speakers, and share the Gospel with children at camps and clubs across the city.

We also prepare them for life. They learn how to apply for jobs, practice interview skills, present themselves with confidence, and navigate basic etiquette and manners. We expose them to new possibilities by taking them on tours of local colleges and trade schools.

But yesterday, we took them somewhere unexpected: our county jail.

For context, I spend at least two hours a week inside that very jail, meeting with incarcerated women. We open God’s Word, talk about life, and wrestle with real questions. So bringing our youth there wasn’t just about seeing jail—it was about seeing choices, consequences, and hope in the middle of both.

They saw master control, with more security cameras than you can count. They walked through booking, where every person arrested is processed. They stood in the long, echoing hallways of the women’s pods, where the women I meet with live day in and day out.

But the most powerful part of the tour wasn’t the facility—it was the people.

Two inmates volunteered to speak with our students. The first was a woman facing 25 years. She had already been to prison and was now awaiting her next court date. She told her story: it all began in high school with drinking and drugs. Her charges started small—misdemeanors—but over time, they escalated to felonies. And felonies stick. They follow you. They shape everything that comes next.

The second was a man facing nearly 100 years. He had spent most of his twenties incarcerated. Now, in his early thirties, he’s facing the very real possibility of never getting out.

They shared with the students that the mindset of “just a little marijuana” can be extremely dangerous—especially now. What many youth don't realize is that today’s drugs aren’t what they used to be. Most street drugs, even those that appear relatively harmless, are often laced with deadly substances like fentanyl. Just one mistake, one bad batch, can lead to overdose—or worse.

They also talked about the growing legal consequences. As of July 1, 2025, DAP pens—vapes that contain THC substances—are now illegal to possess, sell, or distribute. What was once casually sold at gas stations is now a felony offense. When our students heard this, many were visibly surprised. They had no idea that carrying something they thought was “no big deal” could now have life-altering consequences.

Both inmates emphasized the same powerful message: "Watch who you’re spending your time with." They shared with raw honesty how the friendships they chose—the people they allowed into their inner circle—shaped their thinking, their values, and ultimately, their actions. It wasn’t just one major decision that landed them in jail; it was a series of smaller choices, influenced by the company they kept.
 
They described how peer pressure slowly chipped away at their convictions. How being around the wrong crowd normalized behavior they once knew was wrong. Trying drugs or covering for a friend became part of their routine. And before they realized it, those moments compounded into a lifestyle—one that spiraled beyond their control. Their warning wasn’t just about avoiding “bad influences.” It was about being intentional surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to grow, who encourage you to make wise choices, who reflect the kind of future you want for yourself. 

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “You are who you hang out with.” It might sound simple, but it’s profoundly true. The people around you either push you toward God’s best—or pull you away from it.

"Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’" – 1 Corinthians 15:33 

The people we allow into our inner circle shape our thinking, our choices, and the direction of our lives. That’s not just a warning—it’s a reality. The inmates’ stories reminded our students (and all of us) that even small compromises—especially in who we let influence us—can lead to life-altering consequences.

But God’s grace always offers a way back. He places people in our lives to challenge us, sharpen us, and walk with us toward healing and truth. He redeems stories—even the ones that look like they’ve gone too far.

Take a moment to ask yourself:
Who am I letting influence me?
Are they drawing me closer to Christ—or away from Him?
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Choose wisely.